


sleep is not for the weak or faint of heart

by jlhb



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Autistic Nora Reid, Background Relationships, Character Study, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kinda canon compliant, Nightmares, Post-Canon, honestly you can read this with pretty much any ship in mind, its mostly just platonic/ familial love between these girls, leadotin background, shoni background, they need eachother
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:07:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29313075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jlhb/pseuds/jlhb
Summary: The Unsinkable Eight struggle with rest during and after the island. They learn that needing each other is not a bad thing.Exploring how the girls struggle with sleep, and how they learn to rely on each other.
Relationships: The Unsinkable Eight
Comments: 7
Kudos: 55





	sleep is not for the weak or faint of heart

**Author's Note:**

> TW: mentions of anxiety/panic attacks, mentions of hospitalization and comas, referenced character death. None of this is very graphic at all, but I figured I should put it up here any way.

Those first few nights on the island were, surprisingly, the best sleep they had there. The reality hadn’t set in yet. They were so exhausted from the panic and confusion that they slept deeply, not waking until the sun rose and they couldn’t sleep anymore. Those first nights, they slept huddled together, not quite touching but close enough to be there if they were needed. 

After their reality set in, everything began to change. They didn’t stay quite as close to each other, their anger and frustration causing them to split into smaller groups with Rachel and Leah staying as far away from each other as they could and the same happening with Shelby and Toni.

Once they got the fire lit, they took shifts, keeping the fire alive and going, watching over the other girls. It was an unspoken rule once the nightmares started, that fire duty was also nightmare duty, and once the nightmares started, they didn’t stop.

Everyone had their nightmares differently. 

Leah and Martha always woke from their nightmares the same way, crying and shaking, unintentionally waking whoever was close enough to feel their bodies thrashing. Normally, they were both calmed through touch. Martha would reach out, groping in the dark for Toni or Shelby or Dot, keening for the comfort that came from hugs and reassurance. Leah, despite needing the touch, never reached out like Martha did. She woke up crying, but tucked herself inwards until whoever was watching the fire coaxed her over and laid her down so she could rest with her head in her lap.

Rachel and Toni woke similarly as well. Both woke with a sharp gasp, followed by a frantic search of the group to make sure everyone was there, but each really only looked for one person. Once they were calm, they wrapped themselves around their respective sisters, protecting themselves from the fear of losing them.

Shelby and Fatin both woke up slowly, dragging themselves out of their dreams back into the world. They both felt the need to ground themselves, and though they went about it differently, the processes were similar. Where Fatin gently extricated herself from the girls’ pile of limbs and scooted closer to the fire, reaching out for the warmth and humming softly to herself, Shelby got up with less grace, stumbling towards the water until she could feel the cold waves on her feet and take a breath.

Neither Nora or Dot were ever woken by their nightmares. The only way anyone knew that their sleep had been less than restful was by watching them the next day. Nora, already quiet, barely spoke after her nightmares. She would respond, nodding or shaking her head, and doing whatever she was told to do, but she wouldn’t speak unless she was absolutely needed, and even then would speak so quietly that only Rachel could hear. After Dot’s nightmares, she was hyper-vigilant. She wouldn’t rest over the course of the day, would make sure everyone was full before she even touched her rations. Throughout the day, she would drift restlessly from group to group, checking in on everyone until Fatin convinced her to sit down, talking mindlessly until Dot seemed to come back to herself. 

Later, after the plane, they slept closer. The disappointment was crushing, as was the hunger, and they silently decided to huddle together, not only for warmth, but comfort as well. Eventually, the pile of limbs began to take shape as they all chose their unofficial spots. 

Shelby slept closest to the back of their makeshift shelter. Pressed up against her was Toni, acting as Shelby’s little spoon while she held on tight to Martha. Martha was wedged up against Dot, who had fought against her place in the middle until Martha pleaded with such a sad look that Dot couldn’t say no. Dot slept flat on her back, arms out, with Martha resting on her right shoulder and Fatin facing away from her while resting on her left shoulder. Leah slept facing Fatin, the only pair that slept facing each other, drawing comfort from the other’s warm breath. Rachel, once her feud with Leah ended, slept back to back with her, their silent promise that they would watch out for each other. Nora was the last in line, facing the ocean away from her group, tucked under Rachel’s arm, relishing in the way the warmth of her sister contrasted the cool breezes coming from the ocean.

They slept linked, arm in arm, head on shoulder. Nights were the only time that they could never be mad at one another, and they all in their own ways showed how the sleeping arrangement worked for them. 

The nights spent in quarantine at the compound were the hardest. All of them were alone, in cold, dark rooms, shuddering with cold and fear and loneliness. None of them knew if the others were all right. None of them knew if the others were even still alive. Because of that, only a few of them slept. Toni didn’t sleep until she couldn’t keep her eyes open. Her adrenaline never dropped, heart rate never dipping below 80 and her body humming with nervous energy, mind hopping from girl to girl, only really stopping when her thoughts landed on Martha or Shelby. The same was true for Dot, her protective instincts flaring up every time she reached a state of almost-rest, leaving her jittery and exhausted. Fatin, though she claimed otherwise, wouldn’t sleep either. She was plagued with visions of Leah, throwing herself into the ocean, or of Dot, working herself nearly to death, or any of the other girls who she knew needed her (it wasn’t that she needed them too). Leah and Shelby slept, as did Martha, though none of them truly had a choice. Leah and Shelby, sedated, couldn’t keep their eyes open. Martha, trapped in a coma, wouldn’t wake, as much as the doctors ‘tried’.

After they escaped for real, when they got out of the compound with the help of Agent Young, they fell back into their pattern. In the real hospital, the beds weren’t big enough, but once they were well enough to sleep without the IVs and the monitors, they crawled into the same room, cuddling in the best way they could.

It was different, of course. 

They had pillows and blankets and warmth and food, but none of them could deny the fact that those needs had seemed to fade into the background, overshadowed by their need for comfort. Not only was it different because they were safe, but they were missing someone. 

Without Nora, Rachel drifted for the first few nights they spent together. The first night, she was as far away from Leah as possible, facing away from Shelby and the rest of the girls. But Leah woke up afraid and confused because the warmth of Rachel and her steady breathing were missing, and Leah didn’t know where her friend was. And Rachel, much to her frustration, woke up thinking that Shelby was Leah, and breathed a sigh of relief before realizing that she didn’t feel right and the slight whistle of her breath did not match Leah’s. They made up after that night at the insistence of Fatin, who apparently “just got back to civilization and still can’t get a good night’s rest” (they all knew that nothing could have stopped her from comforting Leah, reminding her that Rachel was still here and that they were all safe, but they allowed her to make her sarcastic quips, knowing that it made most of them at least giggle). 

So they resumed their positions, for the most part. Rachel now hugged Leah as they slept, both of them knowing that they needed the other. 

Eventually, they returned to a semblance of normal life. It took a long time for any of them to be able to sleep alone again, their trauma strengthening how dependent they were on one another. Martha and Toni still slept wrapped up together on Martha’s bed, shame and the need to seem grown-up long forgotten. 

It took Leah a few months before she realized that without someone at her side, any attempt at rest was futile. When she came to the realization, Dot and Fatin had found an apartment in LA and moved in together. Leah knew that those people- her people- were the people she needed with her. She held off on asking until one night, when she woke from a screaming nightmare, waking her parents and drenched in sweat. Her parents couldn’t console her. She was still caught in the throes of her nightmare, and her parents were just nameless, faceless adults trying to hurt her and trap her. Every corner of her mind was screaming that her friends weren’t safe and all she could communicate was a mumble of syllables that vaguely resembled their names. Her parents were at a loss. They didn’t know how to help, so when they heard what sounded like a name (“Fa’in, Fa’in, Fa’in, No-nora, Fa’in, Mar’a” the syllables rolled off Leah’s tongue like a prayer and her parents had the sense to realize that she was asking for someone, searching desperately through her phone until they came upon a contact that looked like the sound Leah was trying to make) they called her, put the phone on speaker and left the room, affording the two girls some privacy. Once Leah had calmed slightly, tears still running down her face but no longer hyperventilating, she revealed to Fatin how she couldn’t rest now that she was alone, waking up every night scared that she had lost her friends. At that admission, Fatin offered Leah a place in her home, and Leah accepted. Neither felt the need to ask Dot, because though Leah didn’t know it, Dot and Fatin missed her as much as she missed them. 

A week later in her new home, Leah got the best rest she’d had in weeks, sleeping between Dot and Fatin. She had her own room, her own bed, they each did, but most nights they chose to spend together in Fatin’s king-sized bed, huddled together in comfortable warmth, knowing that they weren’t alone. 

Shelby had refused to go home to her parents. She kept in touch with her siblings, but instead went to Minnesota with Toni and Martha, sleeping in a separate bed for the first few nights and eventually moving to share a bed with them. When she, Martha, and Toni were old enough, they moved to LA as well, getting an apartment near the other girl’s and eventually inviting Rachel. 

Rachel had moved back to New York after the island, craving the comfort of her parents and her home. She spent many nights in her parent’s bed, squashed between them, pretending that Nora was sleeping in the room next door. But at a point, their house felt too empty without Nora, and she too moved to LA, getting an apartment in the same building with Shelby, Toni, and Martha. She had a key and regularly joined the trio, sometimes in the middle of the night, holding tight to Martha in place of the sister she lost. Sometimes Martha came to her apartment too, when Shelby and Toni needed some alone time she would curl up on Rachel’s couch, watching movies and eating popcorn until they both fell asleep in the comfort of each other. 

There were good nights sometimes, nights when their own beds were a luxury and spending the night with someone else seemed like a crazy idea, but more often than not the nights were still bad. 

More often than not, Rachel moved to Martha’s room in the middle of the night, or woke up to find herself reaching out for Nora or Leah. 

More often than not, Shelby and Toni woke with Martha in their bed, or woke to each other's frantic breaths and had to fall into their nightmare routine, quietly soothing each other in the best way they knew how. 

More often than not, Dot started the night in her own bed and ended up on the floor of Fatin’s room or, some nights, in her bed.

Most nights, Leah and Fatin held each other as they slept, the promise to wake the other up if they were needed never broken. 

Some nights, none of them could sleep alone, and someone (usually Fatin) called for a group sleepover, all of them huddling together on the apartment floor desperate for the knowledge that they were safe and together. 

It got better as time passed. Less of their nights were overtaken by screams and tears, and eventually they could all sleep alone if they needed to, but none of them ever truly shook the comfort they got from spending the night together.

They knew it wasn’t weakness. They knew that they were strong. But they knew that they needed each other. They needed each other more than anything.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi friends! I hope you enjoyed reading this as mush as I enjoyed writing it! As always, my tumblr is @trexjesse, feel free to send me a prompt or an ask or to just say hi! Stay safe guys!


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